No one goes into a relationship hoping that it will be long-distance, but you cannot help who you fall in love with. It just happens and you shouldn’t be afraid to embrace those feelings.
Long-distance relationships are incredibly tough because you have to heavily rely on communication to keep and develop your bond. However, distance can make the smallest and simplest things the sweetest like being able to eat at the same dinner table, being able to hold hands, or even just take a walk together.
Here are 14 tips to help make a long-distance relationship work:
1. Set Ground Rules And Expectations
You both need to be clear with what you expect of each other during your time apart. Set some rules, so that neither of you will do things that shock or surprise the other.
2. Video-Call Whenever Possible
As you are long-distance, you do not get to see your partner all the time, so being able to video-call and talk to each other face-to-face is a real asset. Being able to see each other’s face can help make you feel closer when you are missing each other.
3. Set Dates For Visits
Visits are the highlight of every long-distance relationship. After all the waiting and excitement, you finally get to meet each other and you are able to kiss and hold each other.
When you have a date in the diary, it means that you have that to look forward to and even a countdown (like me and my partner do!). It can make the time go that little bit faster. When you are arranging a visit to see loved ones when you are living long-distance there are some other means of travel that you should consider when traveling. Have you ever thought about traveling by jet? You should definitely look into a private jet rental cost to see whether it can make your traveling experience much more enjoyable.
4. Send Small Gestures
Receiving small gifts or snail mail is a great way to let your partner know that you are thinking of them, a small token that you have taken the time out to show effort and love. Perfume is a great choice for women, but you could also go for something a little more unique like pheromones for women or men so that you can wear them when you see each other again and make the most of the time that you have together. Here are some other great suggestions for small gestures:
- You could send hand-written letters/postcards
- Sending some beautiful flowers
- Send some chocolates
- Send a gift basket with all of their favourite things
Sending these small gestures between your visits can surprise your partner, show them how much you care, how much you are thinking if them and to make them smile when you are not there.
5. Stay Positive
You need to continuously be positive in a long-distance relationship. The waiting can be horrible and you can feel lonely sometimes, but it is important to remind yourself that it will be worth it in the end.
One simple way to do this is to practise gratitude. Be thankful that you have someone who loves you back. It can help to put things in perspective when you are missing your partner.
6. Look At It As An Opportunity
An advantage of being in a long-distance relationship is that though the experience, both of you are more likely to have a stronger bond. You have the time to learn about your partner and appreciate the small things about them.
7. Get To Know Each Other’s Schedules
It’s useful to know when your partner is busy and when they are free as you can send a message or video-call at an appropriate time. It is important that you are aware or each other’s important small and big events, so that you can support each other.
8. Communication Is Key
Communication is vital for any relationship, but particularly so for a successful, long-distance one as you are completely reliant on that whilst you are away from each other.
Research has shown that long-distance couples may actually be more satisfied with their communication than couples who live closer together. This could be because long-distance couples understand how precious their communication opportunities are and appreciate them a lot more, even the things that could be deemed as boring details, such as what did they have for dinner? Or what is happening at work?
9. Give A Personal Object For The Other Person To Hold On To
There is something sacred about a memento or a keepsake. It can be a small thing: a card, a piece of clothing or a bottle of perfume. We all attach emotions and meanings to the little things. Something so simple can bring happiness and make you smile. Having something of your partner’s, or a gift they have given you can help you feel closer to them.
I have a bottle of perfume that reminds me of my partner as well as a blanket bought for me makes me feel closer to my partner.
10. Stay Honest
Being honest is important in any type of relationship, but even more so in a long-distance relationship. As you cannot always rely on facial expressions, if something has really upset you, or something is bothering you, it is crucial that you communicate those feelings, so that you can work through them together. Honesty helps to keep a relationship healthy!
Don’t try to deal with things by yourself; being open and honest about your fears, insecurities, or whatever is bothering you, is vital as your partner can help you and give you the support you need.
11. Respect One Another
In a relationship, it is healthy to respect one another. When you are long-distance, it is important that you respect the wishes of one another. You should also understand what they are telling you, so that you can recognise why they feel the way they do. It creates a feeling of safety and security to express your feelings which builds trust.
12. Have A Goal In Mind
In order for a long-distance relationship to work, having the same end goal in mind I needed. It is important that you two are on the same page, so that even in if you are not living in the same place, both of you are still motivated and committed to working towards your future together; ask questions such as ‘how long are we going to be apart?’ or ‘what do we want achieve at the end of the day?’
13. Be Prepared To Compromise
Compromising is important especially being in a long-distance relationship – for example, who’s going to travel for the visit or what does the other person want to do? You also need to be flexible with each other’s schedule when arranging visits and time together; it’s all about a bit of give and take.
14. Do Things Together
Even though you are not physically with your partner, you can still do things together that can help you to enjoy your time together. You could: watch a film together, take a walk together (outside via video-call), or go online shopping together. This can be a fun way to spend time together.
These are 14 simple tips that can help you when you are in a long-distance relationship. Long-distance relationships can be successful if you are both willing to put in the time and the effort.
Are you in a long-distance relationship? Or have you ever been in one? I’d love to hear in the comments.
Suzi Tench says
My brother, his wife and my niece and nephew live in London and I’m in South Wales so we try to visit each other every few months as well as keep in contact via whatsapp. Its really hard though sometimes xxx
Yeah it is so difficult especially when the kids are young, as they grow up so fast xxx
Suzi Tench says
It is! In the space of a few months they grow up so quick and learn so much stuff between visits! xxx
Yeah that’s the hardest to see, especially when I would see them every week 😩xxx
Yeah I hate not being able to see them all the like I used too. But it was lovely to see them a few weeks ago. They are coming back here in February for a week. Can’t wait. Sometimes video calls aren’t enough you are right. I hope you get to see your family soon too x
Amie. (@acurvyvegan) says
Long distance relationships are so hard and you miss them so much, but it definitely makes the time you’re together so special. Family is everything in life.
Love, Amie ❤
The Curvaceous Vegan
Definitely appreciate their time more. You are right, family is everything ❤️
Aww, this is such a lovely post Lauren! It sounded like such a wonderful surprise and well worth getting up early for. Cakes, board games and family time sounds like the most perfect way to spend a weekend. Your niece and nephew sound adorable and it is so sweet you have such a close bond. I’m fortunate my immediate family is all close by, but we still have a Whatsapp group, technology really is such a wonderful thing! Thank you for sharing your adventure, really enjoyed reading this post <3 xxx
Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com
Yes having them so close and then move away it was so hard, but try as best as we can to see one another regularly. Thank you for reading and commenting! Cake is always good 💕xxx
Lisa's Notebook says
Ah, Lauren, this was such a lovely post to read! Long distance is hard. We had some family in Singapore for two years and had to keep in touch via Skype. It was OK but we missed the physical contact so much. Now we have family in Scotland and Cambridge, so we don’t see them very often but, like you, it’s always so special and wonderful when we do get together. I’m so glad you had a lovely time with your relatives and thank you so much for sharing 🙂 xx
Lisa | http://www.lisasnotebook.com
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! Yes the physical contact, not being able to cuddle my niece and nephew is so hard. But they are hoping to come to us next month and I can’t wait. Wow, Singapore! That’s so hard! But it does make time special xx
Such a good read! My father lives across the country and I completely agree that long distance relationships are the hardest. I don’t get to see him much but we do communicate often. Great advice 🙂
Thank you for reading and commenting!! Communication is definitely key! Xx
Thank you. They are hoping to come down next month, so I am looking forward to that. Thank you for reading and commenting! X
Yeah I bet that was hard. That’s great, having them live so close and now far away, it sucks x
Sounds like you had a lovely weekend! I relate to this so much except it was myself that moved across the country. Not quite 5 hours but still a good distance. Surprise visits are the best. I always try to visit every 6-8 weeks otherwise I become really homesick! Such a nice post.
Yeah I bet, I have never lived far away from my immediate family. I think I would find it too hard. Thank you for reading and commenting x
While I was living in Brighton, my family was back in the US… on the west coast where the time change was 7/8 hours. But we made it work with texting and Snapchatting often and having scheduled Skype dates!
Rachel || http://anotherstationanothermile.com
Oh my goodness, that must have been so hard! Thank you for sharing your experience xx
Awww, this is so sweet! I live far away from my family, and it’s so hard – especially because I have two little nieces who I miss a ridiculous amount. A couple of years ago, I surprised my youngest niece on her birthday, and it was wonderful! You’re so right about communication being everything because it makes it that little bit easier.
Oh really. Is it far to travel? It is harder when little ones grow up, they grow up so fast too!! Aww that’s so sweet, I bet she loved that! It does make the difference! Xx
Kristin Harris says
It’s definitely hard to live far away from your family! I live for the yearly visits with mine! It’s so great you guys got to have a surprise visit like that, It sounds like you all had a lot of fun!
Yearly visits, how do you cope with waiting in between those times. Thank you for reading and commenting!
This is such a lovely heart warming post. A lot of my mum’s side of the family live in the US so we don’t get to see them her often. It’s hard but always so rewarding when we do get to see them.
Aww thank you so much! Oh my goodness that’s quite far away! Yeah you definitely appreciate your time with them more
This was such a sweet post Lauren! I am happy you had a lovely time with your relatives. Long distance relationships can be so hard. My aunties live far away from us and I don’t see them all the time but it’s always lovely whenever we get to see them. Thank you for sharing
Great advice here! I don’t have a long distance relationship but having been in one, I can conqur that all of these are excellent starting points.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Fransic verso says
Great tips! Communication is very important in a long-distance relationship. it’s always good to visit when can and go on a date.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Sending little gifts and handwritten letters are such a good way of keeping the romance alive!
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Dan Udale says
I’m about 80 miles away from my girlfriend and we see each other when we can. Reading this post was lovely because it highlights to me how important the small things are, and actually, how really they are big things when combined. I appreciate the care and attention you took writing this and I love that you touched on communication and setting expectations because that is so so so important.
Thank you. I am glad you found it lovely to read. If you have a blog please link it as I would love to read
Jaya Avendel says
This is such an inspiring post to me as usually people do not have supportive things to say about long-distance relationships! Video calls and sending little tokens are amazing ways to stay in touch, but I personally love the idea of exchanging items that remind us of each other.
Thanks for sharing. 🙂