No one goes into a relationship hoping that it will be long-distance, but you cannot help who you fall in love with. It just happens and you shouldn’t be afraid to embrace those feelings.
Long-distance relationships are incredibly tough because you have to heavily rely on communication to keep and develop your bond. However, distance can make the smallest and simplest things the sweetest like being able to eat at the same dinner table, being able to hold hands, or even just take a walk together.
Here are 14 tips to help make a long-distance relationship work:
1. Set Ground Rules And Expectations
You both need to be clear with what you expect of each other during your time apart. Set some rules, so that neither of you will do things that shock or surprise the other.
2. Video-Call Whenever Possible
As you are long-distance, you do not get to see your partner all the time, so being able to video-call and talk to each other face-to-face is a real asset. Being able to see each other’s face can help make you feel closer when you are missing each other.
3. Set Dates For Visits
Visits are the highlight of every long-distance relationship. After all the waiting and excitement, you finally get to meet each other and you are able to kiss and hold each other.
When you have a date in the diary, it means that you have that to look forward to and even a countdown (like me and my partner do!). It can make the time go that little bit faster.
4. Send Small Gestures
Receiving small gifts or snail mail is a great way to let your partner know that you are thinking of them, a small token that you have taken the time out to show effort and love. Here are some great suggestions for small gestures:
- You could send hand-written letters/postcards
- Sending some beautiful flowers
- Send some chocolates
- Send a gift basket with all of their favourite things
Sending these small gestures between your visits can surprise your partner, show them how much you care, how much you are thinking if them and to make them smile when you are not there.
5. Stay Positive
You need to continuously be positive in a long-distance relationship. The waiting can be horrible and you can feel lonely sometimes, but it is important to remind yourself that it will be worth it in the end.
One simple way to do this is to practise gratitude. Be thankful that you have someone who loves you back. It can help to put things in perspective when you are missing your partner.
6. Look At It As An Opportunity
An advantage of being in a long-distance relationship is that though the experience, both of you are more likely to have a stronger bond. You have the time to learn about your partner and appreciate the small things about them.
7. Get To Know Each Other’s Schedules
It’s useful to know when your partner is busy and when they are free as you can send a message or video-call at an appropriate time. It is important that you are aware or each other’s important small and big events, so that you can support each other.
8. Communication Is Key
Communication is vital for any relationship, but particularly so for a successful, long-distance one as you are completely reliant on that whilst you are away from each other.
Research has shown that long-distance couples may actually be more satisfied with their communication than couples who live closer together. This could be because long-distance couples understand how precious their communication opportunities are and appreciate them a lot more, even the things that could be deemed as boring details, such as what did they have for dinner? Or what is happening at work?
9. Give A Personal Object For The Other Person To Hold On To
There is something sacred about a memento or a keepsake. It can be a small thing: a card, a piece of clothing or a bottle of perfume. We all attach emotions and meanings to the little things. Something so simple can bring happiness and make you smile. Having something of your partner’s, or a gift they have given you can help you feel closer to them.
I have a bottle of perfume that reminds me of my partner as well as a blanket bought for me makes me feel closer to my partner.
10. Stay Honest
Being honest is important in any type of relationship, but even more so in a long-distance relationship. As you cannot always rely on facial expressions, if something has really upset you, or something is bothering you, it is crucial that you communicate those feelings, so that you can work through them together. Honesty helps to keep a relationship healthy!
Don’t try to deal with things by yourself; being open and honest about your fears, insecurities, or whatever is bothering you, is vital as your partner can help you and give you the support you need.
11. Respect One Another
In a relationship, it is healthy to respect one another. When you are long-distance, it is important that you respect the wishes of one another. You should also understand what they are telling you, so that you can recognise why they feel the way they do. It creates a feeling of safety and security to express your feelings which builds trust.
12. Have A Goal In Mind
In order for a long-distance relationship to work, having the same end goal in mind I needed. It is important that you two are on the same page, so that even in if you are not living in the same place, both of you are still motivated and committed to working towards your future together; ask questions such as ‘how long are we going to be apart?’ or ‘what do we want achieve at the end of the day?’
13. Be Prepared To Compromise
Compromising is important especially being in a long-distance relationship – for example, who’s going to travel for the visit or what does the other person want to do? You also need to be flexible with each other’s schedule when arranging visits and time together; it’s all about a bit of give and take.
14. Do Things Together
Even though you are not physically with your partner, you can still do things together that can help you to enjoy your time together. You could: watch a film together, take a walk together (outside via video-call), or go online shopping together. This can be a fun way to spend time together.
These are 14 simple tips that can help you when you are in a long-distance relationship. Long-distance relationships can be successful if you are both willing to put in the time and the effort.