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2020 was a huge struggle for everyone physically, mentally and emotionally. For me, 2020 was not only challenging due to being in a pandemic, but I was also hit with the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. The diagnosis was bittersweet as I was happy that I finally had answers as to why I was in a lot of pain, but in the same breath, I was angry and upset. The doctors believe that it was due to the accident I had at work, which is as separate issue; however, a lot of anger and resentment stemmed from that.
I remember leaving the hospital and thinking, ‘what the hell do I do now?’ I had several days at home being upset and then I started to do my research and tried to learn as much as I could about Fibromyalgia and I am still learning. A lot of the websites and information spoke about the importance of a positive mind set and healthy mental health habits. When I am in constant pain and exhausted due to lack of sleep, I do think about how I can feel anything but down and upset. It’s okay not to feel positive and happy all the time; however, what is important is to acknowledge a bad day and then start fresh the next day. I have made the conscious decision that I am not going to let Fibromyalgia rule my life or my mental health. Even though I have this condition, I am still me.
There are a lot of different ways to look after your mental health and I am going to share my coping mechanisms and hope that they help you if you are struggling to look after your mental health when living with a chronic illness:
1. Journaling
Putting pen to paper every evening has been a great way to check in with my mental health. Each evening, I write about my day; I write down what I have achieved, what I am grateful for and where I could have made better choices. This reflection allows me to highlight positive actions and I can focus on them rather than the negative aspects from my day. Every small win is still a win!
When I have a bad health day, whether that be physical, mental or both, writing in my journal is therapeutic and I am able to write down any negative thoughts and feelings. When I have written them down, I can address them and work through them individually or discuss what I have written with my loved ones.
Being able to look back at my bad days in my journal, acts as a great reminder that bad days do not last forever. I decided to journal in the evenings, so that I can finish my day on a positive task and this helps me to clean my mind before I get into bed.
2. Affirmations
I use affirmations in the morning; I write a couple of affirmations that I feel would be appropriate for that day. Talking positively about my life lifts my mood and enables me to work on my self-esteem. It is something that takes time, but alongside journaling, this practice really helps me to keep in a positive mind set and makes me look for the positive aspects or where I can say that is a win for me today.
3. Creating A Structure
During lockdown, my daily structure was disrupted and when I received my diagnosis, my life became disorganised. My days would consist of limited or no sleep, lying around when I was having a bad day. However, since implementing a firm structure to my day, I have started to notice improvements. Trying to have a better sleep routine to help with my tiredness and forcing myself to get dressed and aim to do at least 3 tasks every day. Every day is different and the key I have found to helping care for my mental health is not getting frustrated with myself if I didn’t get anything done that day; or even if I only managed to get washed and dressed that day.
4. Speak To Someone Every Day
Staying in communication with family members and friends is really helpful because I have the support of my loved ones. If I have a bad day with my symptoms and I am feeling low, they do a great job of cheering me up; this could be via text or video call; it reminds me that I am not alone in this journey. Just knowing that they are there makes me feel that I am strong enough to keep a healthy mind set and look after my mental health.
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5. Trying To Be Kind To Myself
I was always guilty of being unkind to myself; I would get frustrated with myself if I didn’t finish my ‘to do’ list, or if I had a nap and ‘wasted’ part of the day. Now I am learning to be kinder to myself and beginning to acknowledge that sometimes my body will let me down as it no longer as it once was. Being hard on myself and talking down to myself only made me feel worse, so focusing on what I do achieve each day makes me feel good about myself and helps me deal with the pain that I have.
6. Resting When I Need To
Before my diagnosis, I was always so busy! I never sat still, but now I am having to adjust to a different pace of life, which I have found very difficult. I have been practising resting when I feel tired and it helps me to rationalise and deal with pain. I am aware of the impact of lack of rest and sleep as I experienced a lot of upset when I was tired because the pain felt unbearable at times.
7. Practising Self-Care
Self-care for me is more important now than before my diagnosis. I regularly schedule in time for activities that I enjoy. I love being creative and it makes me happy which improves my mental health. Creating mental health habits like writing in my journal also helps me appreciate what I do have. Looking after me has now got to be something I focus on to keep a healthy, balanced mindset.
Not every day is a good day and I am having to take every day as it comes. However, at the end of each day, I get stronger because I am living my life, but just differently to how I thought it would be. Fortunately, I am still me and this illness will not break me. I hope these tips help you or your loved one dealing with living with a chronic illness.
Really great post and thank you for sharing your experience and living with a chronic illness. My mum has fibromyalgia too so I can relate in a sense hearing about your experience x
Oh gosh. That is horrible for your mum. It is so frustrating because in your mind you can do and want to do so much and your body just doesn’t/can’t do it. Thank you for your kind comment. X
I could honestly relate to so much on this list – prior to lockdown I really wasn’t kind to myself when it came to having breaks or resting but lockdown helped me produce slightly better boundaries! I also really struggle with sleep so i can really relate to that aspect of this post x
That’s great that you have better boundaries for resting. Thank you so much for your kind comments xx
Excellent post, can be used for anyone really. Hope you continue to do better. I know someone who suffers as you do and she has a great outlook and has said being positive about even little things has helped.
That’s great. I am trying my best every day. Thank you for reading and leaving such a kind comment.
This is a really interesting insight into how you deal with your mental health- and I’m glad you look after your mental health even while your physical health is hard. Thank you for sharing x
Thank you so much for your kind comments x
I just researched all about fibromyalgia and wow… it’s so awful, I’m sorry. Taking care of yourself, journaling, being kinder — these are productive things you can do. Don’t pressure yourself so much. God bless you and may you have good health. Thank you for sharing with us your experience and advice.
http://www.lifebeginsattwenty.com
Oh bless you. It is so frustrating as it was due to a work place accident due to someone else’s negligence that I have them. Thank you so much for your kind comments x
Talking to someone and being kind to yourself! Such great ones. It’s tough to take care of yourself sometimes, these are great ways to do it so thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for your kind comments. Can you link your blog?
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with this chronic illness, I can’t imagine what you must be going through. I’m glad you are taking strides to look after your mental health, it is so important to our livelihoods and the pandemic has really allowed me to take needed rest. I’m still learning and it’s not easy, but I’m already starting to see the benefits of self care and rest
Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a lovely comment. This pandemic has definitely made us all think about a lot of things
These are great ways to look after yourself. Having to manage a chronic illness must be emotionally and physically overwhelming.
I think most people could make use of these tips x
Thank you for your kind comment Claire x
RESTING WHEN YOU NEED TO. *applauds* Yes!! I think that’s the most important one for me, but also the hardest. I have a chronic illness as well and it’s why I’ve been blogging full time for nearly 6 years. But it can be really challenging for me to take time to just rest when I need it. I’m such an overachiever, perfectionist, and workaholic that I get angry with myself when I can’t accomplish the work I had planned. But sometimes I need to just take a day to be sick and that’s okay. Thank you for the reminder. I really appreciate your vulnerability in this post as well!
That is the same as me I am so guilty of not resting when I need to or overdoing it. It is so frustrating that mentally I am ready but my body is like no sorry I need to rest. I would love to blog full time. I am currently off sick but hoping to get into a position when I can go back to work. Thank you for sharing your experience and kind comments xx
When you said : “I remember leaving the hospital and thinking, ‘what the hell do I do now?’ ” I totally felt that. This must be so hard on you but you found ways to help you cope with your illness. I just really love how you are able to do what’s good for you. You are so inspiring! These are great tips to look after your mental health. My favorite ones is to create a routine that works for you and to be kind to yourself because we all need that. Thank you for sharing this! 🙂
Thank you so much 😭 I really appreciate all your kind comments.
Looking after your mental health is so important. I know things like this can be difficult to write about. I have also been journaling a lot over the past year. Most of the time I tend to handle difficult things in my life by… ignoring them. For obvious reasons this isn’t always the best solution. So I feel like putting pen to paper and getting out thoughts crowding my mind has really helped provide some clarity and just an output in getting all my feelings out instead of hoarding them all inside. Thanks for sharing this post <3
Thank you for reading and commenting. Journalling is a powerful tool.
Journalling has had a huge impact on me! It’s what lead me to start my blog in the first place. What a great way to sort out your thoughts.
What a great post Lauren! And thank you for writing about such a personal topic, I can’t imagine what you are going through but I’m sure this post and you sharing your advice will help others in similar situations. Self love and self care is so important but isn’t always easy.
Thank you so much for your kind comment x
I do not have a chronic illness, but I have so much empathy and respect and awe for people like you who, while you do have those ‘what the hell do I do now” moments, find positive and powerful ways to keep finding and creating happiness.
Writing helps me handle all the trips I face in life. Opening up does too,
Thank you for sharing your story and all the ways you keep loving life! <3
Thank you so much Jaya for your kind comments, I really appreciate your kindness ❤️
These are wonderful ways to look after yourself! I love that you have decided not to let fibromyalgia rule your life and that when you have a bad day you acknowledge it and start fresh the next day. You have an amazing attitude and are an absolute inspiration! Thanks for sharing your story!
Thank you so much for your kind comments, they are really appreciated xx
This post is a good way to educate people on how to mentally cope with a chronic illness. Thanks for sharing your experience and for showing your vulnerability. I wish you to continue with this positive attitude and to continue to find solutions to ease your mind. What you are doing is encouraging and inspiring to others.
A really insightful post. My mum has recently had a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and ME which has been difficult for her. Thank you for sharing. I will be sharing this with my Mum and I hope you’re doing well! X
I can completely relate it is so hard and difficult. I have fibromyalgia and also chronic pain syndrome both due to an accident at work. So it is hard. I hope your mum finds it helpful also I have other posts on it if she wants to have a read. Any questions I will be happy to answer if I can ☺️ wishing your mum best wishes xx
Thank you lovely ! X
I don’t have any tips for you but I’m so pleased you’ve finally got some answers. A family member has Fibromyalgia and I know just how difficult the simplest of things can be.
Thank you for reading and commenting. It can be so difficult.
I’m glad you finally got some answers! I think lockdown has also helped me to set boundaries and time to relax that I never did before and it’s been great to have more down-time.
Tash – A Girl with a View
I don’t have chronic illness and I can’t say if I’m clinically diagnosed with mental illness but I could feel you and how journaling kept our mind sane. Writing down all our thoughts may it be from a bad or good day, really helps ease our emotions. Thank you for sharing, this personal, I hope you’re doing well. xx
Lush Post babe. Having fibro is so hard isn’t it, I’m sorry you have it also!! You are more than welcome to message me any time to talk/vent about it xxx
Self-care and Affirmations is so important to me. I really enjoyed this post – thank you for sharing with us a personal post! I hope you’re well! xxx
xoxo Olivia | http://www.oliviaandbeauty.com
A great post lovely, writing affirmations helps me with my illness too x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
Resting when I need to is one that I’m REALLY working on throughout this whole lockdown situation. I was 110% guilty of being that person who was ALWAYS on the go. When the lockdown hit, most of my evening plans were suddenly cancelled. It forced me to realize that I not only needed to spend some ‘down’ time but that I enjoyed relaxing and spending that time with my husband and our pets.
Thank you for reading and commenting. I need to rest a lot more and be kinder to myself.
A lovely read, Lauren! I’m so glad you take care of yourself and found some things that work for you! Thank you for sharing xx
Lynn | http://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com
Thank you Lynn
I love this post so much. Well done for talking out about your struggles, pet. I think this is so wonderful and the advice you’ve given here is vital. I LOVE journaling for helping to keep track of my symptoms and help me get my thoughts/feelings out. That and it serves as a great place to store ideas.
I also can’t stress how vital it is to communicate with people, even if it’s just online.
<3
Thanks for sharing this with us Lauren and it’s great to at last have some answers. It’s important to find the things that work for you and stick with them. I think we can all be a little bit kinder to ourselves!
Thank you Paul.
Thank you for sharing, I have had trouble sometimes finding time to rest when my Diabetes decides not to play ball, so having some time for me to do self-care is great ideas where that is colouring in book or opening up photoshop to complete a graphics challenge 🙂 I’m also glad to hear that you have your diagnosis now which should rest your mind 🙂
Living with chronic illnesses can be exceptionally hard on your mental health. I know in the past it has been for me. Having that magic diagnosis can open doors to finding ways to cope and heal, but also finding the right combination of things to help manage the pain and fatigue. Having a positive mindset is super important!
Thanks for sharing, it is easy to read and understand. 🙂 I have schizophrenia, and taking care of mental health is extremely important for me. It is hard, but worth it.
Thank you so much for sharing! It’s so important to listen to what our bodies want us to do and if that means having a rest, then that is what is needed and THAT’S OKAY!
Great post! The tips are really useful!
Either having a mental disease or not, this last year was tough for all of us. Your perspective is valuable.
I am in the process of being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia on top of having Hypermobility Syndrome. This post was very helpful and gave me new ways of dealing with things when I have a bad day. Thank you
Sorry to hear about your potential diagnosis. I am glad this was helpful. If you have a blog I would like to read it.
Thank you so much for writing this important blog post. Your suggestions are brilliant and effective.
Thank you for reading and commenting.