There are so many articles out there telling younger women what they should have achieved before a particular age. As if these are rules written in stone.
So we all go through our twenties with this fear of falling behind or that we are not living our lives to the fullest potential. It is being constantly relayed to us that we have so much to achieve in this short time. This is why I was so concerned about turning 30!
Your twenties can be a time in your life where if you make mistakes, you can fix them. You have fewer responsibilities and can even afford to be a little selfish. But just having that narrow mindset of spending that time ensuring you are working towards the ‘things’ that will make you ‘successful’ by 30.
I had an accident at work that changed my life. This meant a large chunk of my twenties was spent in and our of hospital for physical therapy and treatments. The accident has changed my life as well as what I career I am able to physically do. This has ultimately ‘pushed back’ my life success timeline, whilst I get as healthy as I can.
When I was about to turn 30 I was so terrified that I hadn’t achieved all the things society was telling me I should have by 30. I still sometimes switch to that mindset, especially if I see someone I know hits one of those ‘milestones’. I am actively trying to discourage this in my thinking. Here are 8 things you categorically don’t need to do before you turn 30:
Photo by Angelo Pantazis on Unsplash
1. Travel
Travelling is expensive, can be stressful and time consuming. If you don’t have it in your budget or your work schedule won’t allow travel, don’t worry. One day the opportunity will come. You can experience different places and culture at any age.
2. Have good credit
Bills happen. Emergencies happen. While good credit is important, do not stress that it isn’t the brilliant score you want yet. You have plenty of time to change your score. Just make sure you are making smart financial decisions.
3. Own your property
With the rise in living costs and the money needed for deposits and mortgages, it is becoming harder for people to own their homes. There is a lot of pressure for you to own your home – an icon of success! However, there is nothing wrong with waiting and saving your money before you pour it in to a property.
This is one milestone that I have been concerned I haven’t hit yet, but I keep having to remind myself, it is coming!
4. Know what to do next
Life is full of ups, downs and surprises, you can never plan an exact life. On the other hand, you can have goals, dreams and aspirations to work towards. Just because you have those it doesn’t mean you need everything in your life figured out. You will gain clarity as you along. There is no need to do a 5 or 10 year plan – just focus on the next day and don’t stress!
5. Have your dream career
Not everyone finds their dream job that they love straight out of school or university. Some people get their dream job and realise it isn’t what they want. Sometimes people don’t know what their dream career is until much later in life.
There are so many people who became successful or found the job they loved after the age of 30. A few examples are: Vera Wang – she was 40 when she debuted her first line of dresses, Alan Rickman, Oprah Winfrey, Henry Ford, Harry Bernstein and many more. All those people found the jobs they love and their success after the age of 30! It is never to late to ‘start again’.
This is something I am currently working on because of my work accident I can no longer join the police the usual route. So now I am having to make a decision about going to university and whether a different route into the police is possible. I definitely feel more at ease knowing that I still have time to find a career I love – even if it isn’t the one I have always dreamed of.
Photo by Mateus Felipe on Unsplash
6. Have a baby
Unfortunately women of a certain age are asked continuously “So when are you having a baby?” or told “You better hurry up, or it will be too old”. This is one I am struggling with. As my accident and treatment has and still is taking years with all the legalities, I am aware that now the clock may be ticking. Truth of the matter is, there are plenty of women who have children in their late 30s and 40s. My mum even had my youngest sister when she was 39. I know I have time and so do you. Do not feel rushed as it is a big decision!
On the other hand, if you don’t want children that is okay as well.
7. Have a spouse
You do not need to be with the love of your life by the time you turn 30. Plenty of relationships come and go, not all relationships are in your life to stay. People find their person in different times of their lives, not just when they are in young in their twenties. The right person will find you!
8. Be engaged and married
For people that want to get married it can be difficult if you see friends and others getting married – it can feel so far away for you. But don’t stress. Marriage is something that shouldn’t be rushed. Your time will come.
These are just some of the things that society tells us we need to have accomplished by the time we reach 30. There is no rules on when you need to achieve life milestones by.
Although it can be hard to ignore the pressures that society places on us, just trust in your own journey.
Have you ever felt pressured about achieving certain things at a certain age? I’d love to hear in the comments.
Great post! Travel can happen any age, everyone does things at different times, I don’t know why there’s so much pressure around 30!
Also, your dream career starts to look very different, mine is not that important anymore I’m lucky I enjoy it but it doesn’t define me like it once did and I have a better life for coming to that realisation 😂
I relate very much to this comment 👏🤝
That’s really great to read as I am struggling with the career aspect since I have had to change what I can do.
Thanks for this post. Thirty is that age, especially for women, when you’re so freaked out because of all the expectations built towards it in society. I’m glad more of us are realizing that we don’t need to set rigid timelines for our lives.
Yes! I definitely felt that and was so concerned when I turned 30 I hadn’t done those things. It is something I am learning to be okay with. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Being in my early 20s, I’m already freaking out about the long list of things yet to be achieved before the clock turns 30. It’s so overwhelming and stressful that I really fail to enjoy my 20s because of this “timer”. This blog got me a tad relieved tbh.
You definitely don’t have to worry. Just take life at your own pace!
We love this list. We’re in our 20s and there is so much pressure and so much comparison. Your 20s should be about finding what you’re passionate about.
Definitely! It can be a difficult time x
I loved this! We’re pressuring ourselves so much to create the perfect lives before we’re even 1/3th on the way (hopefully). There’s just no need for all that pressure, as long as you’re happy with where you are, you’re doing absolutely fine!
Definitely! Thank you for reading and commenting.
Uff been pressured a lot from owning a home and why I’m still single. I do admit that there are times when I get frustrated that I haven’t reached certain goals but again it the society and not everything have to be perfect.
Michelle| http://www.brokebutflawless.com
Definitely is what society dictates rather what we want. Definitely no rush!
I wholeheartedly agree with you and believe we should stop pushing these “deadlines”. I’m 37 pushing 38 and I haven’t completed some of these (a lot actually), completed some and are recompleting (can we say do-over please?). I spent most of my 20s, all of my 20s, as a total workaholic because I was so stressed trying to work towards all of these things that I burnt myself out. Truthfully and from my personal experiences of trial and error and hardship I believe that we all have individual and unique paths and we should follow those whatever and whichever those bring and look like. Looking back, I now realize that happiness doesn’t have a deadline.
It is great you have a different attitude to it now and it definitely is an individual journey. Thank you for reading and commenting, so glad it was a relatable post.
This posy had me nodding in agreement all the way through! Nobody in their 20’s should be pressured into doing any of these things at all! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
So glad you could relate. Thank you for reading and commenting.
I feel so pressured to have a family by 30 because that’s the age my parents were when they started a family. There also should be no pressure for people to get married by 30 either! Love is seriously hard to find. Great post!
Definitely there is no limit. Every person’s journey is different!
I absolutely loved this article! It’s absolutely true. Those “30 things to do by 30” are toxic and not realistic for a lot of people. I’ve done some of these in 20s, but many in my 30’s and a few I have yet to accomplish (I don’t even know if owning a home will ever be a thing for me, but if I get into a long term relationship one day, maybe!). I got married in my early 20s which was a false start – I realized I wasn’t actually ready and wanted to travel in my 30’s and figure out which path I wanted to take. It’s been an amazing journey that I’ve allowed myself to take. I love that you’re allowing yourself to take life at your own unique pace. Hustle culture can get toxic real fast. Thanks for a great post! 🙂
Thank you for reading and sharing your experience. It definitely can create a negative and toxic environment and make people unhappy when there is no need to be.
I agree with you. These things are not so important to have. So, we don’t need to rush it. Thank you for sharing!
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Thank you for reading and commenting.
Awesome that you want to join the police. I hope it goes well for you and if it doesn’t I’m sure you’ll find something else you love. There are so many opportunities out there.
Thank you for reading and your kind comments x
Nice article. I never felt any pressure to get anything done by a certain age. Now I’m in my mid-forties and having the best time of my life. There is a certain freedom in not caring what others think. Life is short enough without rushing through things. Thanks for sharing
Thank you for reading and sharing your experience. It is nice to hear that others don’t feel pressure.
Reading this was like going through a mental checklist of all the things I am yet to do at 32 – and for a long while I have felt ashamed of all these I had not being able to achieve. But while that sense of shame is not fully gone, I have realised that having such a thing as a bucket list with items like this is detrimental and makes the whole deal worst. When it’s time, it will happen. And if not, then it was not meant to has become my motto.
Definitely! It is how society makes us feel. I will be turning 32 in February and I haven’t achieved big goals that I want. But I am just taking life one day at a time x
I’m now 36 years old and reading your post makes me glad that I did not do all these things when I was 20. Everyone has their own journey. There’s no need to rush things that aren’t meant to be yet.
That’s very true! Thank you for reading and commenting.
Ohh absolutely yes! Louder for the people at the back. I really don’t understand why society tells us we have to have certain things by certain ages to be successful. Success and happiness looks different to each and every one of us. Thanks for sharing this. Although I have a few of these things, there’s nothing that grinds my gears more. RE children, because we were ‘late’ **eye roll** to have them – Not late in my opinion – We were met with things like ‘oh we thought you were never going to have kids’ or ‘bit old aren’t you’. It’s just absolutely ridiculous. Good for you for shouting about this! X
Oh gosh, I want a baby and I am 31 and I keep being told hurry up as you are getting too old. It is so much pressure! Thank you for reading and commenting Claire x
Love this post! It is so reassuring and so true! There definitely shouldn’t be pressure on people to do these things before 30 because it will happen eventually!
Definitely. Thank you for reading and commenting.
AMEN TO THIS! I’m only 23 and I already feel the pressure of achieving all these amazing things by the age of 30 so it’s really refreshing to read this. Don’t get me wrong, my family don’t make me feel like this but I think the older generation in particular have quite high expectations for what you should ‘have done’ by the age of 30 and it’s such a pressurising feeling. I’m slowly but surely learning to brush off the comments made by others and just try to wheel my way through life with illnesses. Thank you so much for sharing this with us lovely. Really relatable post! Xo
Elle – ellegracedeveson.com
It can be hard especially when other people think you should have done more. But, everyone’s circumstances are different as well as what people experience. Life is supposed to be this individual journey and that’s what I keep holding on to. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Awesome post! I couldn’t agree with you more. My adult children are all in their 30s now and have yet to do many of these things. However, I have seen them grow through their 20s and can’t imagine pressuring them to do any of these things.
I do have 7 amazing grandchildren but my oldest daughter was divorced before 30 with 2 babies so marrying young wasn’t necessarily a good plan. Everyone does things in their own time when they are ready. It’s like expecting your baby to walk at 1 yr old – some don’t but they catch up later.
Definitely it is an individual journey and the reference to a baby walking is a good analogy! Thank you for reading and sharing your experience.
Ooh I love this! I’m not in my twenties yet so I’m not feeling all of this pressure but I have experienced similar things in terms of what to do before you turn 18. I feel like parents/teachers etc expect you to have your whole future mapped out but in reality you’re still so young – you have your whole life for that! Thank you so much for sharing x
Definitely you do! Thank you for reading and commenting.
I totally agree with this list! You definitely don’t have to have all these things before 30 in order to be successful! Thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Yasss! A post about all the things you don’t need to do or pressure yourself into doing! I love this and, honestly, needed to hear it!
It is something I keep reminding myself also! Thank you for reading and commenting.
I love this! There is so much pressure on young people to have everything figured out. I’m just now beginning my dream career at 36!
Thank you! That makes me feel so much better.
Preach! It would be boring if everyone did exactly the same thing at the same age. I wish society wouldn’t put so much pressure on us to do things at certain points.
Definitely. Thank you for reading and commenting.
I still don’t know what to do next. Great post!
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Great post! I looooove this topic and the twist on the typical lists you mentioned that we all have seen and read before. This is a refreshing reminder that we’re all doing things at our own pace and there’s nothing lost in not taking the same path as anyone else. I especially think the traveling part is relatable – there’s really no way I can pick up and leave while I’m still trying to build my finances up to be able to do so some day. My parents, on the other hand, are enjoying their empty nesting years with plenty of plane hopping and fun – I’d rather have that to look forward to with aging, more than looking backward. Anyway, thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing this post. It’s so true and we should all do things in our own time. Not when society dictates.
Definitely! Thank you for reading and commenting.
Thank you for posting this. The pressure to achieve everything under the sun before the age 30, is overwhelming. Thanks for reminding us it’s okay to not have life figured out by that age.
Thank you for reading and commenting. I tried to comment on your book review post but there is no comment box x
Oh. Maybe it’s a mistake. But there is. 😊
This post makes a good point about pressuring people into things or having us believe we have somehow failed at life of we haven’t done x, y, z by the time we’re 30. I’m well passed that age and haven’t “achieved” a number of these things that society likes to dictate to us. Definitely do things in your own way and in your own time scale. Very eye opening!
Thank you for reading and sharing your experience.
Thank you for this!
I especially felt that as my bestfriend got a house & fell pregnant back to back – while all I had gotten was a new job… and now a kitten 😅 Note that she’s only a year older than me at 29, while i’ll be 28.
It’s so wierd how our part of the world shame youngsters for living at home- hell that’s so normal in other cultures!! There’s exceptions for sure where there’s a toxic relationship with them, but otherwise.. Not only do I get to use mother’s car, but as she’s disabled, I also get someone to care for my 3animals when I’m gone for work .. who I know she loves them as much as I do (never know with strangers, roomate/lovers sometimes..) it’s a win win situation, I give her some money AND she don’t have to stay alone all the time as me & dad are working + he do travel weeks aways sometimes.
And not only is the price of things insane at the moment for rent/food/gas/etc.. but what we’re paid is so low too!! I would definately not be able to take care of us on my own- the inflation makes our salary not enough for all the things we need 😬 and again i’m lucky that I just got a raise and is above minimum wage.
It sounds like what you have works for you. I still live at home after moving back after a relationship split and been here ever since. Helps my mum, family and me too! Thank you for reading and comment.
Excellent post. These expectations can place unnecessary pressure. One step at a time and everyone has a different journey for sure. Thank you for sharing. Life does not end if you did not achieve all these things by a certain age. 😊
Pastor Natalie (ExamineThisMoment)
Letstakeamoment.com
Thank you for reading and commenting.
this is such a refreshing read! your 30’s shouldn’t feel any different. People’s timelines are all different and we need to enjoy them. What we want in this life will come at the right time for yourself. 🙂
Thank you for reading and commenting. It is definitely an individual journey.
I’m turning 29 next month and I have definitely felt the pressure that I need to do certain things in my life such as having a career and my own home.
I love this post because it is true that there are so many thing you don’t have to do before turning 30 because we are all on our own path. It’s perfectly fine if it takes longer to figure what you want to do.
Definitely! It is so horrible that a lot of us have felt the pressure. Thank you for reading and commenting your experience.
Thank you for this!! I definitely needed the reminder. I just turned 30 and was disappointed in myself because I felt I wasn’t where I was “supposed” to be. I do remind myself that life is meant to be different for everyone, but sometimes I get sucked into society’s beliefs that we need to accomplish this and this by a specific time. It’s also easy to hone in on what I haven’t done yet and forget about all of the wonderful things I did and learned during my 20s.
Definitely can be hard. I really struggled when I was getting close to and turning 30. But I keep reminding myself life is an individual journey and everything happens for a reason. It is important to focus more on the positive than the negative! Thank you for reading and commenting. X
I love your spin on the typical “things to do before x years old” lists! I’m turning 29 next month and resonated with this list because in my early 20s, I had the mentality that I needed to accomplish a list of things to view myself as “successful” and funny thing is that I got myself into debt trying to achieve these rather than pacing myself. Comparing myself to my peers weren’t helpful either! I now realized that everyone is on a different journey (as cliche as that sounds), comparison is the theft of joy, and most importantly, there’s time left to achieve what we want in life.
I am glad you enjoyed the post. It definitely comes as a realisation that helps! Thank you for reading and commenting.
Definitely enjoyed reading this! As a woman in her early 30s, I can relate to feeling pressured to achieve all those things by “30” but now I’m so happy that I didn’t 😆. I feel like I have a better grip on life now in my 30s to pursue what I love. Hey no pressure here! Everything will come at the right time…..Great post!
I am so glad you were able to relate to this post. Thank you for reading and commenting. I cannot access your blog.
These are so reassuring to read! I’m approaching thirty and I won’t lie that some of these do play in my mind, especially the dream job and owning a property. I feel like you fall into peer pressure most of the time which is why you end up thinking it’s the normal thing to do. Great list.
I really struggled and sometimes still do, but I wish I had read something like this before I turned 30. Thank you for reading and commenting.