A Guest Post By Chloe
Being in a relationship comes with many celebrations, from valentines day to wedding parties, it’s no wonder that being single can make us feel out of place. But more and more are people are beginning to talk about the joys of being single.
There’s so much hidden value in being single that is overshadowed by society’s emphasis on romantic relationships. Instead of shunning the single life, we should be embracing all the opportunities that come with it and discovering more about who we are as individuals.
So, while it may be daunting to attend the next big wedding or engagement party by yourself, try and remember the many joys of being single. I don’t confess to know them all, but here are a few to get you started. Here are 5 ways to find the joy in being single:
Photo by Sarah Wolfe on Unsplash
1. Deepen platonic relationships
Quite often romantic relationships are prioritised over strong, long-lasting friendships. For many of us, our significant other may even be considered our best friend, but it’s important and healthy to have trusted connections outside that. In fact, friendships are essential for our well-being and can add some much-needed enrichment to our lives. In some cases, these relationships may even be superior to our romantic ones!
It goes without saying that when we’re single we have more time to focus on our platonic relationships, as well as on ourselves. We have time to have essential catch-up lunches, keep up with the WhatsApp group and generally share more of our lives with each other.
As someone in a long-term relationship, I find that so much of what I do involves my husband. But in the last few years, I’ve started keeping up with friends more, and I even make the first move, something which my introverted brain can barely comprehend! I’m even working on arranging a pottery and pizza night for my dearest friend and I.
My husband may be matched with me in matrimony, but my best friend is my soulmate.
2. Figure out what you really want
It’s been a while since I’ve been single, and I sometimes feel like I’ve missed the opportunity to really get to know myself. Especially as I spent a lot of my teens and twenties suffering from anorexia, an eating disorder which consumes your self-identity. There’s a lot about myself that I’m still discovering at thirty, and that includes what I want out of life.
There are so many things that my husband and I both feel we’re discovering about ourselves outside our marriage. My husband has rediscovered his love for painting, while I’ve rediscovered my love for writing, something we both frequented prior to meeting eleven years ago.
So take the time now, when you’re single, to really get to know yourself and your desires. Don’t be afraid to try new things, ignite old skills and ask yourself questions. Discover what you want out of life and in a partner, and don’t settle for less. It’s a lot harder to connect with yourself as someone in a relationship than it is when you’re single and free.
3. Embrace dating yourself!
Being single doesn’t mean you can’t go on a date, or buy yourself nice gifts. So many of us are afraid to eat alone in public or feel bad when treating ourselves. But why? You’re arguably the most important person in your life, so why not take the time to show yourself some appreciation?
Buy yourself flowers (a point if you didn’t sing this!), get yourself a box of chocolates, go to the movies or even for dinner by yourself. It’s such a freeing experience to be able to say ‘I love myself’ and to show yourself the same sentiment you would expect from a significant other.
Photo by Vanessa Kintaudi on Unsplash
4. Discover what you love
Take advantage of your free time and not have to work around someone else’s schedule. Find out what it really is that makes your heart sing. If you’re a creative person, why not try out a new skill such as painting, pottery or cross-stitch? Or if you’re into sports get online and look for a local club or leisure centre where you can meet like-minded people.
Being single isn’t just about having more free time, it’s also an opportunity to explore new and interesting hobbies. You might even find a side hustle among your new skills!
5. Take this opportunity to become financially independent
All too often those of us in a relationship become caught in a trap of depending financially on our significant others. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to have help in hard times, but we shouldn’t rely wholly on someone else to foot the bills in our life. My husband and I are both fortunate enough that we worked for our own money from a young age. It set us up for the future and taught us the value of money. While we have a joint spending and saving account, we also each have our own debit accounts. The money in those accounts is our own to do with what we want.
Being single can help prepare you to be more financially independent. Not having someone to fall back on makes us more frugal and resourceful, because we’re not able to depend on someone else to cover our expenses. And while normally couples have the added advantage of a dual wage, I personally believe that being financially independent is a must!
What do you like about single life? Can you relate to any of these positives? I’d love to hear in the comments.